A friend of my step daughter's had a conversation within earshot of me recently. She said "like" 47 times in seven minutes. It was so annoying I simply had to count the frequency or I surely would have gone insane.
When did teens start saying "like" all the time, like every sentence? I started, like, noticing a dramatic increase in the early 90's, but then saw, like, an 80's movie and there it was again! I think I have, like, narrowed it to, like, the late 70's in California valley-speak.
"Like" has only two true usages: one is to compare one thing with another (a peach is like a ball of fruit) or to show that you enjoy something ("I like that"). The word "like" adds nothing to any message unless it fulfills one of these purposes.
When you use filler words such as "like", "you know", "um", and so forth, you are basically demonstrating that your brain isn't running as smoothly as it should be. You are filling a pause that should remain a pause with a nonsense word. Why not, like, pause? I can tell you that when you use these fillers you sound dumb as hell as well as annoying. If you said "like" in a job interview as a filler more than once you can kiss that job (unless it's working at MacDonald's) a hasty goodbye.
I believe kids don't know how often they use fillers. I wonder what would happen if they saw a video of themselves. Would they even notice?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Random Fire
Ok, so here's my way of letting it all go:
I like my vet, I really do, and he's got his sister-in-law working for him. She's not someone I would want working my front desk for me. She can't find files, she for a long time "refused" despite my requests to change the name on the account (due to a change in marital status), and she passes the buck when she screws up.
I was watching CNN yesterday: Issues with Velez-Mitchell I believe it is called. She's an alcoholic in long-term recovery. She had a show with a panel of experts talking about the Tucson shooting. It really is bizarre how little people know about these kinds of pathologies. She asked if the guy had a chemical imbalance or if he was under a lot of stress. Unbelievable!
Just found out my best friend, who recently moved into a really nice neighborhood, lives next door to a famous porn actress (and an even more accomplished business woman). I kid you not. I need to pay her a visit; my friend I mean - to see her house. Yeah, that's the ticket, I want to see her new house.
I am thinking of seeing a therapist. I contacted the one I saw some fifteen years ago, but our times don't coincide. Got some names, gonna check 'em out. Need to address my existential issues. Been having some physical problems lately related to my 48th year of being a Type 1 diabetic. It's not getting better, even though denial and wishful thinking predicted otherwise.
Gonna start teaching this week. Three professors are planning to sit in on my Abnormal Psychology class. Can you spell "pressure?" Well, I prefer to imagine it's about their interest in the subject and respect for me. We shall see. All my classes are full. Always a good sign. Tenure looms.
Well, shit. Why am I on this earth? Is this anxiety simply that I can't accept that I am closing in on the downslope? Well, I don't know how to ski! Is it because I feel less than thrilled with my lack of dream fulfillment? Is it because I don't get enough sex? Gimme a break. I'm just a two year old trapped in a 57 year old's body with the mind of a 19 year old. You get the point.
I am not delighted with this town I live in. Very hostile to people who don't have money, and very caught up in the drama that superficial living engenders. I literally can't have a meaningful conversation with anyone around here! Others are equally uninterested by my conversations. Am I an intellectual snob? Is finding deeper layers a dreary enterprise? Is this the real source of my misery? Should I aquire the less than fine art of shallow conversation?
I like my vet, I really do, and he's got his sister-in-law working for him. She's not someone I would want working my front desk for me. She can't find files, she for a long time "refused" despite my requests to change the name on the account (due to a change in marital status), and she passes the buck when she screws up.
I was watching CNN yesterday: Issues with Velez-Mitchell I believe it is called. She's an alcoholic in long-term recovery. She had a show with a panel of experts talking about the Tucson shooting. It really is bizarre how little people know about these kinds of pathologies. She asked if the guy had a chemical imbalance or if he was under a lot of stress. Unbelievable!
Just found out my best friend, who recently moved into a really nice neighborhood, lives next door to a famous porn actress (and an even more accomplished business woman). I kid you not. I need to pay her a visit; my friend I mean - to see her house. Yeah, that's the ticket, I want to see her new house.
I am thinking of seeing a therapist. I contacted the one I saw some fifteen years ago, but our times don't coincide. Got some names, gonna check 'em out. Need to address my existential issues. Been having some physical problems lately related to my 48th year of being a Type 1 diabetic. It's not getting better, even though denial and wishful thinking predicted otherwise.
Gonna start teaching this week. Three professors are planning to sit in on my Abnormal Psychology class. Can you spell "pressure?" Well, I prefer to imagine it's about their interest in the subject and respect for me. We shall see. All my classes are full. Always a good sign. Tenure looms.
Well, shit. Why am I on this earth? Is this anxiety simply that I can't accept that I am closing in on the downslope? Well, I don't know how to ski! Is it because I feel less than thrilled with my lack of dream fulfillment? Is it because I don't get enough sex? Gimme a break. I'm just a two year old trapped in a 57 year old's body with the mind of a 19 year old. You get the point.
I am not delighted with this town I live in. Very hostile to people who don't have money, and very caught up in the drama that superficial living engenders. I literally can't have a meaningful conversation with anyone around here! Others are equally uninterested by my conversations. Am I an intellectual snob? Is finding deeper layers a dreary enterprise? Is this the real source of my misery? Should I aquire the less than fine art of shallow conversation?
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year's Old Communication Pet Peeve List
It's the new year and I have a new list of all things expressive that irritate me:
1. The misuse of "saw" and "seen." It is correct to say, "I saw her," not "I seen her." To those who are making the error: employers hate it too, and consider it a sign of poor communication skills. They'll never move you up.
2. There is no such word as "conversate." Nuff said.
3. The word "to" and the word "too" are two different words. Learn the difference.
4. Stop saying "like." It's old and it's worn out. It tells the listener that your vocabulary is small or that your brain isn't firing on all cylinders.
5. Texting when I'm trying to talk to you. Isn't that code for, "you really aren't saying anything to me that I want to pay attention to?"
6. Incomplete sentences. Very disconcerting. Similar to these.
7. "Do" versus "done." Wrong: I done that. We done that. Right: I did that. We did that. Could this be any more straightforward?
8. In short: I seen enough of this like bad grammar and all because I was with a friend and she was like texting and so she was to busy too listen and all. Some serious lack of conversating. I done it right, though!
1. The misuse of "saw" and "seen." It is correct to say, "I saw her," not "I seen her." To those who are making the error: employers hate it too, and consider it a sign of poor communication skills. They'll never move you up.
2. There is no such word as "conversate." Nuff said.
3. The word "to" and the word "too" are two different words. Learn the difference.
4. Stop saying "like." It's old and it's worn out. It tells the listener that your vocabulary is small or that your brain isn't firing on all cylinders.
5. Texting when I'm trying to talk to you. Isn't that code for, "you really aren't saying anything to me that I want to pay attention to?"
6. Incomplete sentences. Very disconcerting. Similar to these.
7. "Do" versus "done." Wrong: I done that. We done that. Right: I did that. We did that. Could this be any more straightforward?
8. In short: I seen enough of this like bad grammar and all because I was with a friend and she was like texting and so she was to busy too listen and all. Some serious lack of conversating. I done it right, though!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Did You Notice?
1. That all questions are underlain by still deeper ones? That all complexity can be accurately reduced to simplicity?
2. That it seems so crucial to have your home spotless when guests are coming over, to give a good first impression; but once they have arrived, not the slightest attention is paid to the appearance of the place? In fact, it's better that there's a mess to verify that everyone is enjoying themselves.
3. With this my sister agrees: we are getting dumber, and there is concrete evidence for it. Our communication is getting shorter, simpler, and shallower. Novels have given way to novellas, which will become novellinas, which will become micronovellinas, perhaps nanonovellinas, we have speculated. At the next poetry or book excerpt reading, there will be only monosyllables uttered, and these will receive standing ovations and sticks beaten on rocks. Eventually, she says along with her husband, we will be reduced to grunts, having effectively devolved into our primordial beginnings. If you want to read a truly exceptional book using the short form including micronovellinas, check this one out: http://www.amazon.com/Micronovellinas-Philosobytes-Rita-Randazzo/dp/0970827989/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330902202&sr=1-4
4. That we are getting closer to understanding the brain's response to traumatic events, which may lead to better treatment of PTSD and other maladaptive responses? Oh yeah, it has recently been noted in the literature that the experience of having been suddenly, unexpectedly dumped by a lover can result in the same symptomatology as the traumas we commonly associate with PTSD. I coulda' told you that a long time ago.
5. That I am now officially an old man, capable of saying outrageous things in public and getting away with them, on account of my age and all.
6. That if you have a single good friend, the kind who is there for you no matter what, who isn't out to exploit you, who wants to spend time with you, that you are doin' just fine?
2. That it seems so crucial to have your home spotless when guests are coming over, to give a good first impression; but once they have arrived, not the slightest attention is paid to the appearance of the place? In fact, it's better that there's a mess to verify that everyone is enjoying themselves.
3. With this my sister agrees: we are getting dumber, and there is concrete evidence for it. Our communication is getting shorter, simpler, and shallower. Novels have given way to novellas, which will become novellinas, which will become micronovellinas, perhaps nanonovellinas, we have speculated. At the next poetry or book excerpt reading, there will be only monosyllables uttered, and these will receive standing ovations and sticks beaten on rocks. Eventually, she says along with her husband, we will be reduced to grunts, having effectively devolved into our primordial beginnings. If you want to read a truly exceptional book using the short form including micronovellinas, check this one out: http://www.amazon.com/Micronovellinas-Philosobytes-Rita-Randazzo/dp/0970827989/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330902202&sr=1-4
4. That we are getting closer to understanding the brain's response to traumatic events, which may lead to better treatment of PTSD and other maladaptive responses? Oh yeah, it has recently been noted in the literature that the experience of having been suddenly, unexpectedly dumped by a lover can result in the same symptomatology as the traumas we commonly associate with PTSD. I coulda' told you that a long time ago.
5. That I am now officially an old man, capable of saying outrageous things in public and getting away with them, on account of my age and all.
6. That if you have a single good friend, the kind who is there for you no matter what, who isn't out to exploit you, who wants to spend time with you, that you are doin' just fine?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My Top Ten 2011 New Year's Resolutions
Well, it's that time of year again. I usually shy away from resolutions because I end up breaking them promptly. But because my birthday is at the end of the year, I also feel compelled to generate a list. So here we go again:
1. Listen to my wife better. Stop finishing her sentences and cutting her off, OK Rambo?
2. Need to walk or do something physical for a change. I'll be 60 in three years and 70 in 13 years! Jesus!
3. Eat better? Goes without saying, but I said it anyway.
4. Become a better teacher. I know I can do better, and the pursuit will keep me from getting burned out.
5. Listen to more music. I have a great collection, but somehow it easily becomes an afterthought.
6. Finish the damn book! I've been writing it since before my current students were in high school.
7. Say positive, optimistic things. I have a habit from my genetics to not do that, so I need to overcome that predilection with mindfulness.
8. Pay off the DISCOVER CARD bill. Pronto, or at least in proportion to corralling my movie and music addictions.
9. Fix the toilet roll dispenser in the master bathroom. Must everything be monumental?
10. Remind yourself of the top nine.
OK, so there's another year's worth of things that I will quickly forget or rationalize my way past. Hold on for a second: number 10 takes me to number 7, so, yes I will do these things, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. Good, now eight to go.
1. Listen to my wife better. Stop finishing her sentences and cutting her off, OK Rambo?
2. Need to walk or do something physical for a change. I'll be 60 in three years and 70 in 13 years! Jesus!
3. Eat better? Goes without saying, but I said it anyway.
4. Become a better teacher. I know I can do better, and the pursuit will keep me from getting burned out.
5. Listen to more music. I have a great collection, but somehow it easily becomes an afterthought.
6. Finish the damn book! I've been writing it since before my current students were in high school.
7. Say positive, optimistic things. I have a habit from my genetics to not do that, so I need to overcome that predilection with mindfulness.
8. Pay off the DISCOVER CARD bill. Pronto, or at least in proportion to corralling my movie and music addictions.
9. Fix the toilet roll dispenser in the master bathroom. Must everything be monumental?
10. Remind yourself of the top nine.
OK, so there's another year's worth of things that I will quickly forget or rationalize my way past. Hold on for a second: number 10 takes me to number 7, so, yes I will do these things, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. Good, now eight to go.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Random Thoughts
So I'm sitting here at 11:01 on a Sunday, avoiding working on some Power Points for a new class this spring. I have blood and steel on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I love creating the best visuals and collecting the most up-to-date information. I just finished my 23rd one for this class, and I still have a boatload to go.
Is it necessary to think you have made a difference in the world to love your life, to not fear death?
Doctors are so single-minded in their quest for ultra rapid diagnosis and prescription, that they often miss the obvious. Like the patient who has sad eyes or one who won't look them in the eye. research tells us that as much as 90% of all patients seen in a general practice office have some psychosocial basis or strong component of this in their presentation. So there!
You do realize, don't you, that dentists are simply highly skilled technicians. They very rarely use all the biochemistry, anatomy, and pharmacology that they learned about in dental school. And the quality of their work varies significantly, just like the rest of us. Did you know that many dentists still use the old film X-ray method, despite the precision, low x-ray dose, and non-polluting digital system that's been available since the 90's? Makes you wonder.
I suppose I could say similar things about doctors. I went to the first two years of medical school. Oh, I didn't matriculate, mind you. I have no grades to proudly display, no certificate of attendance. I was given permission to take all the courses when I was an Educational Consultant to the school of medicine.
In general practice offices, the overwhelming majority of things that people complain about will vanish on their own, without any treatment what so ever. That's how the great imposters would stay undetected for so long. I think we have some imposters with actual medical licenses. The real truth about general medical practice? If you know what ails a patient, give him either an antibiotic or an antianxity Rx, and if you don't know ails them, send him to a specialist. I'm serious.
I have caught several physicians not knowing basic stuff, missing sure fire diagnostic clues, and prescribing the wrong medication or the most expensive medication when a much cheaper one would do. But then I am a very superb diagnostician, and think I know more than I actually do about most things.
Why am I so anti-medicine this morning? Because I am reminding myself that I need to draw some blood again, must take shots all day long, and I have always done so and will always do so for my entire life, or I will die, and die very quickly. And because medicine has no offerings for existential angst, for a broken heart, or for a disconnected soul. "What's wrong with this guy," I hear you muttering.
I used to fantasize, and sometimes still do when I watch a zombie movie, that in a post-apocalyptic world I would be so self-sufficient I would be able to save others and be very happy. I would be armed to the teeth and kill zombies by the thousands. Never was anything so untrue. Without the occasional slice of pizza, I would soon perish.
I am up for tenure this year, and I will be on the block in May to decide on this five year process. Am I concerned? No, not substantially. But history has taught me in the most painful of ways that chickens should be kept in the coop so as not to be inadvertently counted.
Now I feel better. My dysthymic rant has saved me again, at least for a few hours. Back to the Power Points.
Is it necessary to think you have made a difference in the world to love your life, to not fear death?
Doctors are so single-minded in their quest for ultra rapid diagnosis and prescription, that they often miss the obvious. Like the patient who has sad eyes or one who won't look them in the eye. research tells us that as much as 90% of all patients seen in a general practice office have some psychosocial basis or strong component of this in their presentation. So there!
You do realize, don't you, that dentists are simply highly skilled technicians. They very rarely use all the biochemistry, anatomy, and pharmacology that they learned about in dental school. And the quality of their work varies significantly, just like the rest of us. Did you know that many dentists still use the old film X-ray method, despite the precision, low x-ray dose, and non-polluting digital system that's been available since the 90's? Makes you wonder.
I suppose I could say similar things about doctors. I went to the first two years of medical school. Oh, I didn't matriculate, mind you. I have no grades to proudly display, no certificate of attendance. I was given permission to take all the courses when I was an Educational Consultant to the school of medicine.
In general practice offices, the overwhelming majority of things that people complain about will vanish on their own, without any treatment what so ever. That's how the great imposters would stay undetected for so long. I think we have some imposters with actual medical licenses. The real truth about general medical practice? If you know what ails a patient, give him either an antibiotic or an antianxity Rx, and if you don't know ails them, send him to a specialist. I'm serious.
I have caught several physicians not knowing basic stuff, missing sure fire diagnostic clues, and prescribing the wrong medication or the most expensive medication when a much cheaper one would do. But then I am a very superb diagnostician, and think I know more than I actually do about most things.
Why am I so anti-medicine this morning? Because I am reminding myself that I need to draw some blood again, must take shots all day long, and I have always done so and will always do so for my entire life, or I will die, and die very quickly. And because medicine has no offerings for existential angst, for a broken heart, or for a disconnected soul. "What's wrong with this guy," I hear you muttering.
I used to fantasize, and sometimes still do when I watch a zombie movie, that in a post-apocalyptic world I would be so self-sufficient I would be able to save others and be very happy. I would be armed to the teeth and kill zombies by the thousands. Never was anything so untrue. Without the occasional slice of pizza, I would soon perish.
I am up for tenure this year, and I will be on the block in May to decide on this five year process. Am I concerned? No, not substantially. But history has taught me in the most painful of ways that chickens should be kept in the coop so as not to be inadvertently counted.
Now I feel better. My dysthymic rant has saved me again, at least for a few hours. Back to the Power Points.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Ten Things I Really Dislike
1. When people drive around with almost no gas in their tank, anxiously concerned that they will run out, and when it's time to get some go juice, they only get a few bucks worth!
2. Folks who can't seem to EVER understand how to operate a TV remote control. What exactly is the problem?
3. People who think they can hide their true nature from those who are paying attention. I pay attention, and you can't hide.
4. People who don't absolutely adore dogs. How could you not love a sentient being that is so pure, so loving, so truly adoring?
5. Folks who can't tolerate paradox. Paradoxes are ubiquitous and at the same time seemingly rare. To see them is to appreciate them.
6. When people don't cap their pens after using them. They dry up and mark surfaces inadvertently. Stop it. Stop it now.
7. Mushrooms. Their texture, their taste, their appearance. Nuff said.
8. Folks who absolutely must have the latest phone. I have had the same tiny phone since 2001, and I don't even use it. Well, except for when I get a dirty phone call from my wife.
9. Students who text constantly in my classrooms. They won't stop, no matter what I do or say. Is rudeness and self-disrespect the new "in" thing, or is this an addiction? I don't think they get it.
10. My critical nature. Its way too easy for me to come up with a list of things I dislike.
2. Folks who can't seem to EVER understand how to operate a TV remote control. What exactly is the problem?
3. People who think they can hide their true nature from those who are paying attention. I pay attention, and you can't hide.
4. People who don't absolutely adore dogs. How could you not love a sentient being that is so pure, so loving, so truly adoring?
5. Folks who can't tolerate paradox. Paradoxes are ubiquitous and at the same time seemingly rare. To see them is to appreciate them.
6. When people don't cap their pens after using them. They dry up and mark surfaces inadvertently. Stop it. Stop it now.
7. Mushrooms. Their texture, their taste, their appearance. Nuff said.
8. Folks who absolutely must have the latest phone. I have had the same tiny phone since 2001, and I don't even use it. Well, except for when I get a dirty phone call from my wife.
9. Students who text constantly in my classrooms. They won't stop, no matter what I do or say. Is rudeness and self-disrespect the new "in" thing, or is this an addiction? I don't think they get it.
10. My critical nature. Its way too easy for me to come up with a list of things I dislike.
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