Did You Notice?

1. That all questions are underlain by still deeper ones? That all complexity can be accurately reduced to simplicity?

2. That it seems so crucial to have your home spotless when guests are coming over, to give a good first impression; but once they have arrived, not the slightest attention is paid to the appearance of the place? In fact, it's better that there's a mess to verify that everyone is enjoying themselves.

3. With this my sister agrees: we are getting dumber, and there is concrete evidence for it. Our communication is getting shorter, simpler, and shallower. Novels have given way to novellas, which will become novellinas, which will become micronovellinas, perhaps nanonovellinas, we have speculated. At the next poetry or book excerpt reading, there will be only monosyllables uttered, and these will receive standing ovations and sticks beaten on rocks. Eventually, she says along with her husband, we will be reduced to grunts, having effectively devolved into our primordial beginnings. If you want to read a truly exceptional book using the short form including micronovellinas, check this one out: http://www.amazon.com/Micronovellinas-Philosobytes-Rita-Randazzo/dp/0970827989/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330902202&sr=1-4

4. That we are getting closer to understanding the brain's response to traumatic events, which may lead to better treatment of PTSD and other maladaptive responses? Oh yeah, it has recently been noted in the literature that the experience of having been suddenly, unexpectedly dumped by a lover can result in the same symptomatology as the traumas we commonly associate with PTSD. I coulda' told you that a long time ago.

5. That I am now officially an old man, capable of saying outrageous things in public and getting away with them, on account of my age and all.

6. That if you have a single good friend, the kind who is there for you no matter what, who isn't out to exploit you, who wants to spend time with you, that you are doin' just fine?

My Top Ten 2011 New Year's Resolutions

Well, it's that time of year again. I usually shy away from resolutions because I end up breaking them promptly. But because my birthday is at the end of the year, I also feel compelled to generate a list. So here we go again:

1.    Listen to my wife better. Stop finishing her sentences and cutting her off, OK Rambo?

2.    Need to walk or do something physical for a change. I'll be 60 in three years and 70 in 13 years! Jesus!

3.    Eat better? Goes without saying, but I said it anyway.

4.    Become a better teacher. I know I can do better, and the pursuit will keep me from getting burned out.

5.    Listen to more music. I have a great collection, but somehow it easily becomes an afterthought.

6.    Finish the damn book!  I've been writing it since before my current students were in high school.

7.    Say positive, optimistic things. I have a habit from my genetics to not do that, so I need to overcome that predilection with mindfulness.

8.    Pay off the DISCOVER CARD bill. Pronto, or at least in proportion to corralling my movie and music addictions.

9.    Fix the toilet roll dispenser in the master bathroom. Must everything be monumental?

10.  Remind yourself of the top nine.

OK, so there's another year's worth of things that I will quickly forget or rationalize my way past. Hold on for a second: number 10 takes me to number 7, so, yes I will do these things, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. Good, now eight to go.

Random Thoughts

So I'm sitting here at 11:01 on a Sunday, avoiding working on some Power Points for a new class this spring. I have blood and steel on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I love creating the best visuals and collecting the most up-to-date information. I just finished my 23rd one for this class, and I still have a boatload to go.

Is it necessary to think you have made a difference in the world to love your life, to not fear death?

Doctors are so single-minded in their quest for ultra rapid diagnosis and prescription, that they often miss the obvious. Like the patient who has sad eyes or one who won't look them in the eye. research tells us that as much as 90% of all patients seen in a general practice office have some psychosocial basis or strong component of this in their presentation. So there!

You do realize, don't you, that dentists are simply highly skilled technicians. They very rarely use all the biochemistry, anatomy, and pharmacology that they learned about in dental school. And the quality of their work varies significantly, just like the rest of us. Did you know that many dentists still use the old film X-ray method, despite the precision, low x-ray dose, and non-polluting digital system that's been available since the 90's? Makes you wonder.

I suppose I could say similar things about doctors. I went to the first two years of medical school. Oh, I didn't matriculate, mind you. I have no grades to proudly display, no certificate of attendance. I was given permission to take all the courses when I was an Educational Consultant to the school of medicine.

In general practice offices, the overwhelming majority of things that people complain about will vanish on their own, without any treatment what so ever. That's how the great imposters would stay undetected for so long. I think we have some imposters with actual medical licenses. The real truth about general medical practice? If you know what ails a patient, give him either an antibiotic or an antianxity Rx, and if you don't know ails them, send him to a specialist. I'm serious.

I have caught several physicians not knowing basic stuff, missing sure fire diagnostic clues, and prescribing the wrong medication or the most expensive medication when a much cheaper one would do. But then I am a very superb diagnostician, and think I know more than I actually do about most things.

Why am I so anti-medicine this morning? Because I am reminding myself that I need to draw some blood again, must take shots all day long, and I have always done so and will always do so for my entire life, or I will die, and die very quickly. And because medicine has no offerings for existential angst, for a broken heart, or for a disconnected soul. "What's wrong with this guy," I hear you muttering.

I used to fantasize, and sometimes still do when I watch a zombie movie, that in a post-apocalyptic world I would be so self-sufficient I would be able to save others and be very happy. I would be armed to the teeth and kill zombies by the thousands. Never was anything so untrue. Without the occasional slice of pizza, I would soon perish.

I am up for tenure this year, and I will be on the block in May to decide on this five year process. Am I concerned? No, not substantially. But history has taught me in the most painful of ways that chickens should be kept in the coop so as not to be inadvertently counted.

Now I feel better. My dysthymic rant has saved me again, at least for a few hours. Back to the Power Points.

Ten Things I Really Dislike

1.   When people drive around with almost no gas in their tank, anxiously concerned that they will run out, and when it's time to get some go juice, they only get a few bucks worth!

2.   Folks who can't seem to EVER understand how to operate a TV remote control. What exactly is the problem?

3.   People who think they can hide their true nature from those who are paying attention. I pay attention, and you can't hide.

4.   People who don't absolutely adore dogs. How could you not love a sentient being that is so pure, so loving, so truly adoring?

5.   Folks who can't tolerate paradox. Paradoxes are ubiquitous and at the same time seemingly rare. To see them is to appreciate them.

6.   When people don't cap their pens after using them. They dry up and mark surfaces inadvertently. Stop it. Stop it now.

7.   Mushrooms. Their texture, their taste, their appearance. Nuff said.

8.   Folks who absolutely must have the latest phone. I have had the same tiny phone since 2001, and I don't even use it. Well, except for when I get a dirty phone call from my wife.

9.   Students who text constantly in my classrooms. They won't stop, no matter what I do or say. Is rudeness and self-disrespect the new "in" thing, or is this an addiction? I don't think they get it.

10. My critical nature. Its way too easy for me to come up with a list of things I dislike.