Random Fire

Ok, so here's my way of letting it all go:

I like my vet, I really do, and he's got his sister-in-law working for him. She's not someone I would want working my front desk for me. She can't find files, she for a long time "refused" despite my requests to change the name on the account (due to a change in marital status), and she passes the buck when she screws up.

I was watching CNN yesterday: Issues with Velez-Mitchell I believe it is called. She's an alcoholic in long-term recovery. She had a show with  a panel of experts talking about the Tucson shooting. It really is bizarre how little people know about these kinds of pathologies. She asked if the guy had a chemical imbalance or if he was under a  lot of stress. Unbelievable!

Just found out my best friend, who recently moved into a really nice neighborhood, lives next door to a famous porn actress (and an even more accomplished business woman). I kid you not. I need to pay her a visit; my friend I mean - to see her house. Yeah, that's the ticket, I want to see her new house.

I am thinking of seeing a therapist. I contacted the one I saw some fifteen years ago, but our times don't coincide. Got some names, gonna check 'em out. Need to address my existential issues. Been having some physical problems lately related to my 48th year of being a Type 1 diabetic. It's not getting better, even though denial and wishful thinking predicted otherwise.

Gonna start teaching this week. Three professors are planning to sit in on my Abnormal Psychology class. Can you spell "pressure?" Well, I prefer to imagine it's about their interest in the subject and respect for me. We shall see. All my classes are full. Always a good sign. Tenure looms.

Well, shit. Why am I on this earth? Is this anxiety simply that I can't accept that I am closing in on the downslope? Well, I don't know how to ski! Is it because I feel less than thrilled with my lack of dream fulfillment? Is it because I don't get enough sex? Gimme a break. I'm just a two year old trapped in a 57 year old's body with the mind of a 19 year old. You get the point.

I am not delighted with this town I live in. Very hostile to people who don't have money, and very caught up in the drama that superficial living engenders. I literally can't have a meaningful conversation with anyone around here! Others are equally uninterested by my conversations. Am I an intellectual snob? Is finding deeper layers a dreary enterprise? Is this the real source of my misery? Should I aquire the less than fine art of shallow conversation?