There are many unwritten rules of thumb in the world of psychotherapy. There are ones about the relationship between chaos and the Borderline Personality Disorder, the ways to quickly assess a person's risk to become either Anxiety Disordered or Depressed, and even a few about how to calculate the emotional age of substance abusers. These are rules of thumb (although I despise the origin of that phrase) because they seem to work fairly well in clinical settings, but are not substantiated by scientific scrutiny.
The one I am most intrigued by is this: the amount of fat a person has is roughly proportional to the amount of anger and resentment they contain. Emphasis on the word "contain." I have worked with many dozens of high BMI clients, some morbidly obese, others just packing a few extra pounds. At heavy to obese and beyond, the shoe appears to fit.
The idea is this: if you wanted to devise a way to signal to people that you don't want to be touched, approached, cuddled, or accepted, what better way than to insulate yourself against these than by literally creating a barrier that is both physical and metaphorical. It serves a protective function and to fulfill the prophesy of self-rejection. When someone not happy with themselves believes they don't deserve love and acceptance, they prove it by watching others' reactions to their weight, and then say to themselves, "See, I knew I was repulsive, I knew no one loved me," or some such self-talk.
A self-perpetuating cycle easily can ensue.
Now there are added factors of course. One is that people with low self-esteem eat too much, particularly sugary and fatty stuffs because these foods create a temporary sense of well-being at a biochemical level. Comfort food it's called. Your brain is primed to deliver the chemical message that we interpret as: this food is extra special and feels good to eat; we might not get more of this kind of rare stuff, so eat up! When humans were in the savannah, foraging for all things edible, we were rewarded by the also evolving fruits and berries in the world. Plants actually evolved with our brains in mind and vice versa. Our modern food industry mimics the tastes we are most rewarded by and amplifies them. Sugar and fat.
Another factor to consider is that people in lower socio-economic strata have less disposable income, and fatty foods are cheaper than nutritious foods. Ever compare Twinkies with fresh vegetables? This is part of the explanation for why this group of people is consistently heavier than higher socio-economic groups.
Well, those caveats considered, there is still a relationship that holds up between self-esteem and weight. I am not the first to notice it, and eventually there will be science done to confirm this and to validate more specifically that it is anger that is being insulated against. Scratch the surface of a fat person, and the first thing you often get is incredible anger. They may on the surface appear passive, friendly, or placid, but watch out below. Of course they are angry! They hate the idea of unacceptability, often blame others for their slights and pain, and frequently harbor the notion that they are particularly giving, self-sacrificing, even pious and yet are being rejected.
So, the question is begged: since Americans are getting fatter and fatter, does this mean we are suffering lower and lower self-esteem and generating more and more anger? I think the answer is clear.
The one I am most intrigued by is this: the amount of fat a person has is roughly proportional to the amount of anger and resentment they contain. Emphasis on the word "contain." I have worked with many dozens of high BMI clients, some morbidly obese, others just packing a few extra pounds. At heavy to obese and beyond, the shoe appears to fit.
The idea is this: if you wanted to devise a way to signal to people that you don't want to be touched, approached, cuddled, or accepted, what better way than to insulate yourself against these than by literally creating a barrier that is both physical and metaphorical. It serves a protective function and to fulfill the prophesy of self-rejection. When someone not happy with themselves believes they don't deserve love and acceptance, they prove it by watching others' reactions to their weight, and then say to themselves, "See, I knew I was repulsive, I knew no one loved me," or some such self-talk.
A self-perpetuating cycle easily can ensue.
Now there are added factors of course. One is that people with low self-esteem eat too much, particularly sugary and fatty stuffs because these foods create a temporary sense of well-being at a biochemical level. Comfort food it's called. Your brain is primed to deliver the chemical message that we interpret as: this food is extra special and feels good to eat; we might not get more of this kind of rare stuff, so eat up! When humans were in the savannah, foraging for all things edible, we were rewarded by the also evolving fruits and berries in the world. Plants actually evolved with our brains in mind and vice versa. Our modern food industry mimics the tastes we are most rewarded by and amplifies them. Sugar and fat.
Another factor to consider is that people in lower socio-economic strata have less disposable income, and fatty foods are cheaper than nutritious foods. Ever compare Twinkies with fresh vegetables? This is part of the explanation for why this group of people is consistently heavier than higher socio-economic groups.
Well, those caveats considered, there is still a relationship that holds up between self-esteem and weight. I am not the first to notice it, and eventually there will be science done to confirm this and to validate more specifically that it is anger that is being insulated against. Scratch the surface of a fat person, and the first thing you often get is incredible anger. They may on the surface appear passive, friendly, or placid, but watch out below. Of course they are angry! They hate the idea of unacceptability, often blame others for their slights and pain, and frequently harbor the notion that they are particularly giving, self-sacrificing, even pious and yet are being rejected.
So, the question is begged: since Americans are getting fatter and fatter, does this mean we are suffering lower and lower self-esteem and generating more and more anger? I think the answer is clear.
So emotional issues come before higher BMI more often than resulting from it?
ReplyDeleteCause and effect are difficult to establish at times in the world of emotional issues. I think both directions are possible, but yes, I think higher BMIs are more often the result of emotional issues than that high BMI causes them, but the cycle is perpetuated once higher BMI is present, from both internal and external sources.
ReplyDeleteI certainly want to say that not everyone who is fat has emotional problems, or that all fat peple are so becuse they eat too much: there are a few physical disorders that can cause someone to be obese. But those are relatively uncommon cases, and I believe that most people with particulalry high BMI s are highly likely to have had prexisting emotional problems.
And your postulation is that there is a direct proportionality between the two indices?
ReplyDeleteNo. And there is no proportionality between any two things that we could ever meaure or hope to measure in personality or behaviors.
ReplyDelete