10. You look forward to eating lunch at Target, alone.
9. You decide which pair of socks to wear by sniffing them.8. You interpret the "back off" gestures you constantly get from women as turn-ons.
7. Saturday night you were at Best Buy looking for a new printer.
6. You believe your best moments occur while alone in the graveyard.
5. The last date you had was only a fantasy.
4. Your pile of Penthouse magazines is now taller than your ex-girlfriend.
3. You dream about becoming a regular on Jersey Shore.
2. Your very best friend is not a human being.
1. You sit around listing all the ways your social life stinks.
Parts of this appeared first in a weekly column written by the author. Many changes were made.
No comments:
Post a Comment